A digital social network is sometimes just like real life. Although people often behave very differently online than ‘in real life’. The enthusiastic communicator suddenly turns into a disinterested zombie behind a keyboard. And that annoying, aggressive guy in your network turns out to be a gentle sweetheart in real life.
In the spirit of stereotyping, I’ll outline 5 different types of Digital Networkers below: 1. The Network Naysayer Makes it a sport to put a negative spin on everything. The glass isn’t just half empty—it’s shattered on the floor. Warning: don’t engage in discussion with these people. You’ll inevitably step barefoot into the shards! 2. The Network Zombie Wanders—seemingly aimlessly—around the network. Arms outstretched, foam at the mouth, and bloodshot eyes. Doesn’t respond to messages or any other stimuli. Contact is impossible—there’s no life left in them. The only remedy is to occasionally step aside and let them pass. So they can walk into a wall or fall into a lake a moment later. 3. The Network Purist Sees the network as a school and they’re the headmaster. Inappropriate behavior is not tolerated. Mistakes are met with a good old-fashioned ruler slap on the fingers. Absences must be pre-approved, and all new members must first introduce themselves ‘properly’. Tip: bring a virtual apple and place it on their desk. Maybe you’ll earn a nice sticker? 4. The Network Peeker This is the person who never shares anything themselves but secretly ‘watches’ everything. That creepy feeling you get when you’re notified that ‘someone viewed your profile’. Who was it? And why? Why me? Help! 5. The Network Vampire Gains access to your network and drains it dry. Thirsty for new connections and unstoppable. But can’t stand sunlight. The only remedy? Probably a stake through the digital heart. Raymond te Veldhuis CheckData and DataJobs.nl