I get it. A 'headline' at the top of your CV is really important. In this fast-paced world of quick scans and soundbites, you need a title that stands out on the one hand, and is informative on the other. The headline should at least say something about who you are and what you want. And that’s not easy to do in one sentence. Just try it! That’s why I don’t want to be too harsh on those who give it a go. Still, for 'educational and entertainment purposes,' I’d like to share some CV titles I came across this week in various CV databases.
I want! I want! I want!
I totally understand that there are people who really want to work but are struggling to find a job. However, never let your desperation show in your CV headline. "I’d really like to have a job, I’m available for a job." A job? Have? "I would love to work at your company" Really? "Make use of me!" Uhh…(!?!)
Huh?
Some CVs have a headline that can only be described with one word: huh? "tough Dutchman looking for work - TOUGH DUTCHMAN READY TO SERVE SOCIETY” Oh yes, I happened to be looking for a kind of Michiel de Ruyter to battle the English and French with his warship. Are you vaccinated against scurvy? "Write CV, Apply" Uh, yes… that does seem like the right order...
Adjective Overdose
Others try to say and express so much at once that they choke on the adjectives. "Technically highly educated enthusiastic personality with a pragmatic and eager-to-learn attitude, works results- and quality-oriented with attention to detail." But are you also self-managing and proactive??? "Versatile, young, fresh and flexible social worker. Interested in legal-administrative positions, social services, or healthcare-related roles." Too bad, we’re looking for someone who’s also eager to learn and pragmatic. And flexible...
Expelled?
And if you’ve been 'expelled' from somewhere, like your education or a job, I wouldn’t advertise that either… "Expelled student Business IT & Management looking for first job" "Expelled looking for temporary work"